This Sunday I am embarking on a new adventure. I am starting a week-long class at Mechon Hadar. Again, not without trepidation. This is not exactly the place where the level of observance and Yirat Shamaim is according to my view of the world.

And yet, I’ve decided to try it. For a very practical reason – there is no way I can get to Jerusalem this year, alas! No money.

I was lucky for the last few years going to Israel twice a year – to study and just because. This luxury, of course, has a heavy cost. So, this year I can only dream. So, I figured since I can’t possibly live without some kind of a systematic Torah study anymore, I’ll try what is available to me. And I am going to maintain an open heart and an open mind. I will see for myself and will hear from others. Sometimes I get very surprised by both sides of the aisle. And sometimes, I get so turned off by what I see as a pretence of liberalism. And other times I cringe at the idea that, for example, all women learning is holoimes – כאַלוימעס. Heard this one when I told a Rabbi that I was going to study at Pardes the first time.

So, until I am in my dream place, here I go.

When will the day come

When I finally land

in Your Holy Land?

Not now

And yet I know it will

It draws closer by my every breath

I will get to You

I will make it real

One day

When I finally land

In Your Holy Land.