Anticipating

I am not sure when I am going to publish this. However, I am writing it almost three weeks to the date when my life will drastically change. Change for the best, please, Gd! It’s been ten months since הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא let a certain amazing man find me among all the other women in…

Will This Pesach Be Different Than Any Other Pesach?

So many things happening, so many thoughts in my head, so many feelings in my heart, and so little ability in me to express it all. Pesach is coming, and the Israeli elections seem to be fitting into a timing that is supposed to be of reflection, self-cleansing and preparing for a better, free future….

Verses of Hope?

Strangely enough, I seem to be able to write a verse or two when I am sad, depressed, mad at the world and at myself. These days I am happy and hopeful and scared to jinx it with as much as a light breeze blowing the wrong way. Maybe it’s because I am so not…

Random Spring Pre-Purim Thoughts

Spring is, inevitably, coming. And, with it come hopes, dreams of the better future, associations with pink / rosy glasses. Time and again, my mind races back and forth bringing pleasant thoughts and emotions and going back to the darkness that is so ingrained in my whole being. Personal ups and downs are mixed today…

End of the Calendar Year is Near

I haven’t written in a while here. Not for the lack of events in my life. In fact, the last three months were full of the new things, mostly amazingly pleasant, BH! I guess, I am so not used to good things happening in my life, that I don’t even know how to process them…

Just Because

Today, when we are about to read Parshat Toldot talking among other things about a family, all I can think of is the prospect of it – a fleeting tiny breath of fresh air. These days my heart races from heaven to hell and back twenty times a day. Being used to misery in my…

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“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.       This is the Parshah that among other things, is speaking about the observance of Shabbat: ב  דַּבֵּר אֶל-בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם, מוֹעֲדֵי יְהוָה, אֲשֶׁר-תִּקְרְאוּ אֹתָם מִקְרָאֵי קֹדֶשׁ–אֵלֶּה הֵם, מוֹעֲדָי. 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto…

You & Me

I’ve been trying hard. Trying to bury my head in work, in good and bad things happening in the family and around us in the outer world, trying to tell myself that twenty years should be enough to stop hurting. It should be, indeed. And yet … These ten days between the two calendars, Jewish and secular,…

Back to the Darkness … Again?!!

These days are not like one another. G-d! I try! I try hard. I succeed … sometimes. I wake up. I smile. I even sing. And then I dance – the dance of a shot-down swan… Music is supposed to lift a person up. Not me. For me, it brings back tears. My love, my…

A Few of my Favorite … Lines

Today, when things happening in my life have put me in front of the same dilemma, again and again, I am back to being confused and angry at myself for inability to make a final decision. It is written in the Mishna “Say little and do much” (Avoth 1:15) It seems that all I do is talk, and do…

The Year 5777 is Coming!

Sunday,  יום ראשון , October 2 Jews all over the world will celebrate The New Year – רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה. This year’s number is quite unique – 5777. Number 7 was always kind of magic in the Jewish world – 7 days of the week, 7 days before the brit milah, 7 branches of the Menora as it…

Verses Outloud

What makes a poet? His success? His literary style? The fact that his poems make it into the world of music? The voice of a singer? All of the above? How is it that some poems, whether read or sang are unforgettable, while the others, albeit good ones, stay with you just for a little…