וַיֵּרָא? Do I see or do I just Imagine?

Reading this ParshahParshat Vayeira, I kept thinking about myself. After so many struggles and so much pain, do I even have the ability to “lift [my] eyes” and really “see” – לראות – רואה?

In this Parshah we have characters who see, and those who, clearly, do not:

כז  וַיַּשְׁכֵּם אַבְרָהָם, בַּבֹּקֶר:  אֶל-הַמָּקוֹם–אֲשֶׁר-עָמַד שָׁם, אֶת-פְּנֵי יְהוָה.

27 And Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the LORD.

כח  וַיַּשְׁקֵף, עַל-פְּנֵי סְדֹם וַעֲמֹרָה, וְעַל-כָּל-פְּנֵי, אֶרֶץ הַכִּכָּר; וַיַּרְא, וְהִנֵּה עָלָה קִיטֹר הָאָרֶץ, כְּקִיטֹר, הַכִּבְשָׁן.

28 And he looked out toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the Plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the land went up as the smoke of a furnace.

 

Not only Abraham sees the angels, heeds their words and because of them argues with Gd for the sake of righteous people that might have and might have not existed and Lot doesn’t recognize the immediate danger, Lot’s wife does not “see” the outcome of her “looking”, but Lot’s daughters do not “see” the reality around them and they have to assume the world in which they need to step down:

לד  וַיְהִי, מִמָּחֳרָת, וַתֹּאמֶר הַבְּכִירָה אֶל-הַצְּעִירָה, הֵן-שָׁכַבְתִּי אֶמֶשׁ אֶת-אָבִי; נַשְׁקֶנּוּ יַיִן גַּם-הַלַּיְלָה, וּבֹאִי שִׁכְבִי עִמּוֹ, וּנְחַיֶּה מֵאָבִינוּ, זָרַע.

34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the first-born said unto the younger: ‘Behold, I lay yesternight with my father. Let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.’

לה  וַתַּשְׁקֶיןָ גַּם בַּלַּיְלָה הַהוּא, אֶת-אֲבִיהֶן–יָיִן; וַתָּקָם הַצְּעִירָה וַתִּשְׁכַּב עִמּוֹ, וְלֹא-יָדַע בְּשִׁכְבָהּ וּבְקֻמָהּ.

35 And they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose, and lay with him; and he knew not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

לו  וַתַּהֲרֶיןָ שְׁתֵּי בְנוֹת-לוֹט, מֵאֲבִיהֶן.

36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

לז  וַתֵּלֶד הַבְּכִירָה בֵּן, וַתִּקְרָא

שְׁמוֹ מוֹאָב:  הוּא אֲבִי-מוֹאָב, עַד-הַיּוֹם.

37 And the first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab–the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

לח  וְהַצְּעִירָה גַם-הִוא יָלְדָה בֵּן, וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ בֶּן-עַמִּי:  הוּא אֲבִי בְנֵי-עַמּוֹן, עַד-הַיּוֹם.

38 And the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi–the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

However, I am always very reluctant to judge the people in the Torah, as I have no idea how would I behave in a similar situation, and NEVER do I wish to enter one.

So, something is happening in my life. I am trying to understand if this is something I need to “see”, or if I am just trying to imagine things desperate for the one thing that I care the most for myself. There is no רוח הקדשׁ (Holy Spirit) to guide me, or is there?

Standing on the edge

Peering into your eyes

What am I trying to see?

Can a human see into the depth?

 

Despite the weather turning for the colder every day, my heart wants to feel warm. Am I crazy to believe in miracles? Please, Gd! Help me to stay on the right path!

 

*****

 

Meanwhile, I didn’t stop cooking, I am just holding my breath before embarking, hopefully, on a new cooking-related adventure. You can see some stuff here, and if you need a recipe, just ask.

 

Shabbat Shalom!

 

 

 

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